Journeying from Grief to Grace Part II
Updated: Oct 13
Grief to Grace is a five-day program of spiritual and psychological healing for abuse survivors. Participants are taken on a journey of healing through the Living Scriptures where they encounter first-hand the deep love that our Lord, Jesus Christ has for them and the desire that He has for all of us to be set free from our wounds that have held us in chains for far too long.
The participants are supported and guided with care by a team of trained professionals and volunteers. Each member’s dignity is up held and respected, their trauma acknowledged and their stories heard. They are given a voice, which is often taken away and silenced, continuing the cycle of abuse.
But through Grief to Grace we are given our voice’s back and as well the permission to express our justified anger. For years we have been forced to bury the anger for various reasons. For myself it was fear of rejection and of not being heard. It was the fear of being manipulated and to be made vulnerable again to abuse.
"I didn’t come this far in my journey to allow the enemy to defeat me and have his day."
Leading up to Grief to Grace I had spent the previous 12 months working with my spiritual director in preparation. I knew that I was entering into a battle. The battle of all battles. My biggest hurdle was going to be consistency and remaining in the fight. To allow myself to surrender and to trust the process. I didn’t come this far in my journey to allow the enemy to defeat me and have his day.
No. I was determined and God had sent help my way, through people He had placed around me to support, pray and love me through my most testing times. Not only had He placed these people in my life, but God was slowly building my strength by loving me and showing me, my worthiness through these people.
As the date for my retreat was approaching, the spiritual battles and warfare increased significantly. Somebody was not happy about God’s plans. I was holding on tightly to God, trusting that he would get me through this.
And He did.
I arrived to Grief to Grace on the Divine Mercy Sunday, hopeful in God’s promise of healing.
My time at Grief to Grace will never adequately be put in words that would do its justice. My wounds were ripped open and I was nailed to the cross with Jesus, with a promise of a resurrection that has been fulfilled.
It was earth shattering. It broke and shattered all these perceptions about myself and the world. The walls crumbled and I was eventually able to receive that love. For the first time in my life I experienced what it was like to truly receive a father’s love. I didn’t know I could be loved like that. I didn’t know love like that existed in this world.
As Jesus beckons me and draws me in through His love and desire to dwell within my soul. His love for me, became incredibly bright and brilliant like the rays of the sun, so did my love and desire for Him. I often found myself, multiple times a day, in the Chapel at the foot of the cross. There I placed everything I was carrying, at His feet.
Jesus received my tears, my burdens, my fears, my weakness, my sufferings and my pain. But He also received my surrender, joy, love and adoration. This is where my relationship with Jesus Christ deepened into new depths. The wall between us was crumbling.
At the foot of the cross I received His immense love, clarity, healing and rest. The cross is my new compass instead of my shame.
Jesus Christ has crowned me in great strength and dignity.
I know now to whom I belong to. He is my beloved. And I am His. A daughter of the Almighty King.
Now I can breathe.
I am free.